“Join a culture where your desired behaviour is the normal behaviour,” James Clear, author of Atomic Habits.

I often refer to this style of storytelling to the non-Moth listeners as “slice-of-life” stories that reflect moments of meaning.  Through my day-to-day life, I feel like we experience many meaningful moments – some more grand or transformative than others.

And so I wanted to share this “mini-slice.”  A smaller, simple example of a moment that stops you in your tracks and sticks with you, like maple syrup on a hot waffle, in a way that feels bigger or more connected than the simple action. 

We had moved to urban Toronto from Wisconsin, and I was reacquainting myself with the pros and cons of a more dense, city environment and commute.  Pros: plenty of options to pick up coffee on my way to work, enough car time to catch up with family, opportunity to explore my new love of podcasts… Cons: losing about 1.5 hours of my day confined to the driver’s seat, letting go of predictability or control, having to manage road rage…

My morning commute included several intersections with Tim Horton’s.  For those not familiar, Tim Horton’s, or Timmie’s, is an institution in Canada.  A coffee & doughnut shop that’s truly claimed it’s own additions to the Canadian dictionary: a “TimBit” (doughnut hole), a “double-double” (a coffee with 2 creams and 2 sugars) or even a “Timmie’s Run” (a coffee run).  In Canada, Timmie’s, is synonymous with coffee, in the same way Kleenex is synonymous with facial tissue.  And I’ve got to give them props, as they managed to normalize an entire culture around the superior flavour of drinking coffee that’s not just black.  From construction workers to high-power, C-suite executives, anyone – male or female, of all walks of life, can order a coffee full of cream and sugar and it never calls into question their strength.

And so, especially in my early days in Canada – when I was trying to adopt the culture and “fit in,” I would swing by Timmie’s on my morning commute.  Now the most convenient Tim Horton’s, which allowed me time to drink coffee and eat an egg sandwich on my 30-minute commute, was on Weston Road.  I would take a left turn to merge into an overflowing line-up for the drive-thru, but the pace they dole out coffee and breakfast fare at Timmie’s is unprecedented… And before I knew it, I was back through the line and needing to make another left turn to get back onto Weston and on my route to work.

I had done this move: left turn, Timmie’s drive-thru, left turn back into my commute, at least a dozen times by now with no issue.  Don’t get me wrong – sometimes the merging and traffic and flow was a bit dicey, but Canadian drivers are incredibly nice.  (Refer to earlier quote re: joining a culture that reflects your values.)  And then one day, I get my coffee, I pull up to cross the traffic and turn left onto Weston Road, and suddenly there’s this driver in a pick-up truck who is facing me head-on.  He’s trying to drive across the same lanes of traffic as I am, but not taking any turns – simply driving from the gas station across the street into the Tim Horton’s line.  And this man in the pick-up is honking and waving frantically at me. 

I do a mental check… it’s daytime, so I don’t think a burnt out headlight could be the cause of this display.  I am frankly stumped.  I shrug at the guy and give him a gesture as an attempt to clarify if he is, indeed, trying to notify me about something.  And the waving and urgent energy persists.  Eventually the guy motions for me to roll down my window.  When I do, he proceeds to yell at me – across the traffic, that you can’t turn left.  He points at a sign posted near his pick-up which, as it turns out, does clearly indicate (to people precisely like me), that you can’t take a left turn out of that Tim Horton’s.

I am again, somewhat stumped.  Does this jerk fashion himself a sort of pedestrian traffic cop?  Why does he care so much about my left turn?  I’m low key annoyed, embarrassed, and also just looking to move on with my morning. 

And then he yells to me, “I just got a ticket for doing that a few weeks ago.  I don’t want that to happen to you.  It’s an easy sign to miss!”

Suddenly I get it.  And my world shifts.  This gruff looking man in a pick-up truck (who is likely on his way to snag an overly creamy & sweet “double-double” from Timmie’s) is trying to help me.  He’s going out of his way to flag down a complete stranger, for the sole purpose of sharing his experience so I might avoid falling victim to a similar fate.

Canadians are nice.  Random people will try to reach out and help a stranger, with no expectations or ulterior motives.  What a wonderful place to be.