Quirky: unusual or unique, especially in an interesting or appealing way
As society has tried to embrace and normalize differences, I find fewer things within myself or others that I would consider quirky. Bringing your full self to situations and encounters has become more and more accepted, which is great.
I choose to embrace quirks – in myself and others. These points of distinction help add the flavour. Here are some of mine:
- A deep love of peanut butter. Once, earlier in my career, I was invited to speak in front of a relatively large audience at my company. To kick off the meeting, the moderator was asking me a series of “rapid fire” type questions, ending with “If you had to pick one food to eat for the rest of your life, what would it be?” Without skipping a beat, I immediately answered, “peanut butter.” I’m the type of person who regularly eats peanut butter directly from the jar, especially if I’m short on time and have missed a meal or I’m feeling hangry. Everyone in my family knows about this quirk, and if I seem a bit “off” or grouchy, even my children will ask, “Mom, have you had any peanut butter today?” In the rare occurrences where we’ve finished the back-up jar (and yes, we typically keep two, 1 kg jars in the cupboard) I will share, somewhat joking – but only partially, that “these are the things I have nightmares about.”
- Dancing – anytime, anywhere. I love music and grew up attending dance classes and live concerts, regularly. As an adult, I still find myself moved by music and wanting to almost sync my body with what my soul is experiencing by moving to the music. Most often this involves a Brandi Carlile song on the Bluetooth speaker: me grabbing my husband in the kitchen when I’m cooking dinner, encouraging him to dance with me. Sometimes I’ve cajoled him or others into doing the same when there’s a live performer at a restaurant or other venue. Whether or not others are dancing, or it’s “appropriate” seems irrelevant to me. At times I’ve even bribed my kids (especially the little ones, who are small enough to carry in my arms) to indulge me when we’re at an outdoor concert and I feel an opportunity to connect more deeply by dancing. Most of the time others try to discourage me, but I usually prevail. And I like to think that they end up feeling more filled and in harmony. I know I do. This inclination toward feeling music more deeply has also led me to include a Bluetooth speaker on my packing list for any adventure. Whenever we go on vacation or rent an Airbnb or visit the beach, I always pack a speaker along so I can bring the music (and the feelings it inspires).
- Interrupting is another one of my quirks, or fatal flaws, depending on the situation. That said, when I’ve tried to confront others (especially professionally) about this, they have acknowledged that, yes, they’ve noticed, but also that they rarely mind. They sense that these interruptions are coming from a positive, well-intentioned space. At times I feel so overwhelmed with energy and passion for a topic that it breaks through (even if someone else is talking). It’s as if I can’t contain the idea or thought from bursting out.
- As a close cousin to this quirk, is my proclivity to over-share. There are times when I want those I’m speaking with to come deeper with me – to understand the “why” – whether that’s around a business decision or even just the background of a personal story. Picking which of those details to share is something I’m not great at discerning so, often, I give too many. At one point my eldest son had been encouraged by his teacher to add more “seeds” to his writing. She had an analogy involving the watermelon and the seeds, where the seeds of a story were the details. That said, my family will often remind me that they could use “less seeds” when I’m going too deep.
- Asking good questions. I’ve always valued a sense of urgent curiosity, with curiosity being one of my core values. I firmly believe that in life, as well as in business, you can never underestimate the importance of a good question. Some of my more meaningful moments and memories centered around questions and the stories they uncovered. Some people can find questions to be uncomfortable and I may come across as too personal, or too direct, or trying to be too clever… but as people get to know me, they realize the heart of these questions is always genuine. Sometimes I want to understand someone a bit deeper and hearing about other places they’ve lived, or the best vacation they ever took, or how they met their significant other… these glimpses or slivers into their story can help to foster connection and empathy. Sometimes I want to expand the thinking within a business meeting, encouraging the attendees to consider alternate effects or perspectives or opportunities for collaboration. Either way, I’ve developed a reputation for always having a question to ask and I embrace that in myself (and in others).
What other quirks do you notice in me? What are some of your quirks, or quirks you admire in others?
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